Empty My Hands

Just when I thought that I had surrendered everything over to God and that there was nothing else to give to him, he sheds light on another area of my heart that he wants control of. This is a difficult, long, and painful process. I have given him my dreams of being a missionary in Peru and thought that was what he had promised me for this season on my life. However, I am learning that he has not forgotten his promises to me and will fulfill them in his time, but what he wants now is for me to let them all go and be captivated with him alone.

I have found comfort in both the Psalms and certain songs during this time in my life. I want to share with you a song that says EXACTLY how I feel and is my prayer to God as I go through this trial.

Empty my Hands by Tenth Avenue North

Time to get off the floor

These past three weeks that I have been back home have been some of the most challenging times in my life. I thought that the real test of faith was giving up the next two years of my life to serve God in Peru, but that was actually quite easy and smooth compared to where I find myself now. I had security and community in Peru, here I don't know what the next day will bring, let alone the next few years! I am literally clinging to God during this time and trusting him as I step out onto an invisible road. That is exactly where he wants each one of us.


A friend of mine recently encouraged me to jump into the arms of God and allow him to carry me instead of having him pick me up off the floor. I didn't take his advice right away because it was easier to just stay broken, crying on the floor. That's where I have been for a while and it is time that I get up and allow his strong arms to surround me and gently carry me to where he has planned for me.

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand . You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever".

Psalm 73:21-26

I know that this is a time of purifying and refining me. The end result will be exactly what he has destinied me to be in order to serve him with all that I am.

Change in scenery

There are times in our walk where we run into a road closed sign and must take unexpected detours to get to our final destination. Last Tuesday I ran into one of those signs and now find myself back in London, Ohio on a detour from my original destination.

I had my interview with the leadership of Extreme and they have decided that I am not yet ready to come back and continue my work in Peru. This was devastating news because I have seen so much progress in my health during the past month, but I am not 100% and they do not want me to get to the point I was before. We shared with my group that I would be going home, they embraced me in prayer, and then asked what they could do to help me during this time. Direction and clarity are a good start.

Wednesday was my last day with my Peruvian family. The bond that we have formed in just four short months is so strong and unique that distance will not destroy it. I feel that one of my purposes in going to Peru was to be an encouragement to my team and learn to lean even more heavily upon God during times of difficulty. The group surprised me with a little party where they sang me happy birthday, had a beautiful cake, and a card that they all signed. I was then accompanied by several of my team to the airport where many more tears were shed, prayers were spoken, and a dear song was sang!

My experience in the Lima airport was quite epic and was filled with even more tears. I was unable to get on the flight I was booked because I was only permitted one bag. So I had to frantically go throughout the airport trying to find a ticket. God sent a few angels from a Baptist college in Wisconsin who were studying in Peru to help me out and take me in. I was able to get a ticket on their flight and had great comfort in traveling with a group instead of alone.

I arrived home on Thursday and am now living day by day trying to figure out where God will be taking me next. Although God has closed the doors in Peru, I know that he is faithful and he is not done with me yet. There are only better days to come. I am confident as Philippians 1:6 says, that he who began a good work in me will bring it to completion. I have found great comfort in my devotional lately and want to leave you with a quote from a poem by Bessie Porter.

" The Lord is sure to accomplish those things a loving heart has waited long to see; those words will be fulfilled to which she clings, because her God has promised faithfully".

Enabled with boldness:Cusco

"Enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness"- Acts 4:20

After our main event on the 19th, I then traveled

to Cusco to spend a week doing impact with more than 80 other short-term volunteers! I was accompanied by two dear friends of mine from Ohio: Vicki Dunn and Steve Elam. I really enjoyed sharing my experience in Peru with someone from home so that they could relate to my love for the country!

This is a picture of a little girl from Mantay, a women's home that I had visited previously during my first trip to Cusco. I translated for half of the group as we went on a tour of the facility. We were all filled tears during the end of the tour as the guide showed us the nursery and explained the importance of nurturing and making sure these infants know that they are loved, unlike their mothers knew. Our time there included a puppet show which talked about the amazing love Jesus has for each one of us, balloons, nursery feedings, and a powerful testimony that brought many of the young women to accept Christ's open arm invitation.

Due to the largest festival that is celebrated in Cusco, we were limited to our modes of transportation for 80 people. Throughout the week we learned the art of flexibility and on Tuesday we went to the main plaza to pray with people. This was a difficult task because of the parades that were going on and the mentality from the Catholic church that they must pay for prayer. After explaining that it was free, my group and I prayed for jobs, health, the children of the world, and that the people of Peru would get closer to God with 7-10 different people. We then went around to the different plazas and prayed that God would fill the lives that were in that place with his light.

On Wednesday we returned to Oropesa where I went on my previous trip and had a medical clinic and a children's festival. There was a great turnout with over 50 children and 130 people who came to the clinic!

Thursday the 24th was Inti Raymi which is an Incan celebration of the summer solstace and has been intertwined with Catholicism. On this day they have several parades and tradiotions which include climbing up a mountain and sacrificing a llama. We were unable to do any ministry this day, so we were able to visit around the town and see the festivities. It is evident the hold that the enemy has on this city and that it is going to be the hardest of the 7 cities to plant churches because of the Incan roots, however God will be victorious and we were able to get a glimpse of that during our week there.

My favorite part of the week was on Friday when we went to visit the women's prision. This was another women only visit for our group. We had the opportunity to talk with the ladies and here their stories. Many of them are just like you and me with beautiful families and dreams, but had fallen on hard times and are now paying with their freedom. We gave them foot and hand massages and just loved on them with the love of Christ. Lonna Vopat shared her story once more with the women who could easily relate to her testimony. They were all moved by the work of God's redeeming love in her life and almost all of the women gave their lives over to the hands of their heavenly father!!! We then handed out gifts and Bibles to them with a promise that we would return and help them in there walk. One lady shared with me how several groups had come before, but our group was the first where she could feel the spirit of the Lord!

The rest of the week was filled with more children's festivals, another medical clinic, church service, and many trips to the plaza. I was able to help translate for the medical clinic on Saturday which was such a neat experience. Eventhough the majority were only getting prescribed vitamins, tylonol, and rolaids, many of them just desired to get attention, touched, and seen by an American.

Although we would have loved to have done more ministry and impact, it turned out to be a powerful week and many lives were transformed! My prayer was that all of us would return to the states with a fire that would spark the church in the states to share the same kind of love.

Amor Extremo

What an exciting time to be involved in the kingdom-expansion that is taking place in the southern part of Peru! I arrived on June 17th to my Peruvian home in Arequipa after several hours of travel and no sleep. The excitement and anticipation for Saturday's mega event was felt throughout the entire city. The Extreme staff and volunteers had been working on promotion and getting the last minute details ready in order to shake Arequipa for Christ, but what happened on Saturday was more than any of us could have imagined!

The event was held in a spacious fairground/event center that was perfect for all of the activities that we had planned. I helped both in the prayer room and with the woman's conference. Our special guests included Tammy Trent, an amazing Christian artist with a beautiful testimony, and Lonna Vopat, who shared her powerful and inspiring story that many of the Peruvian's were able to relate with. There were at least 1,000 women who attended the conference and more than 100 of them decided to accept the joy and hope that only Christ can offer them! I had the privileged to help with the consolidation process of with both the conference and after Nick's speech later that same evening. To be able to welcome new sisters into the family of God and get their information was such a huge honor.
The other activities of the day included a men's conference, childrens festival, medical clinic, and a guinea pig feast. The main attraction of the day was Nick Vujicic, an evangelist who was born without any arms or legs. He had the most powerful testimony I have heard before and shared of how he overcame major obstacles in his life to be exactly what God created him to be. Overall there were over 10,000 people who attended the event and over 1,000 decisions were made for Christ! It was definitely a victorious day for the church in Peru!

Times of refreshing

These past few weeks have been filled with many tears, prayers, healing, and loved ones. My first week home was one of the hardest times I have experienced in my life. I was filled with grief and confusion, not sure what the future held. However, through the chaos, I learned to lean even heavier upon the hands that hold my future and was determined that his plans for my life were far better than anything I could come up with.

Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart", is one of my favorite Psalms which I have read several times before and have often quoted in reference to something that my heart desired. What was I desiring? God's will? Just to be in Peru with my group? To see the kingdom expanded? God revealed to me that what I need to delight myself in is him, allowing him to satisfy all the longings of my heart and in doing this I will desire him, his plans.

So that is what I did during this time and what I experienced was more than just physical healing, but a spiritual refreshing of his presence. God was faithful and good and restored my health and I am now feeling the best I have felt in three months! I have also been encouraged and refreshed by the many lovely visitors I have had during my short time home.

I am planning on returning to Peru on Wednesday and serving as a short-term volunteer for Love Extreme in Arequipa and Cusco. I am homesick for Peru and it took returning to the states for me to realize that I truly love Peru and have made that my home. I can't wait to be reunited with my family down there and serve alongside them with this new strength that I have received. Although I am uncertain of whether I will be with my cohort or placed in the next group, I am confident that everything will workout exactly as it was suppose to. I will keep you all posted on the work that is taking place during Love Extreme. If you are interested in getting more info, you can visit: http://www.extremenazarene.org/ShortTermDetail.aspx?ID=10

Inspiration in song

I know that there is a reason for all of this pain and he will reveal it in his time. I know it wasn't a mistake for me to go to Peru and that my work isn't finished yet. Through this trial I have found counsel and encouragement from many songs and my devotional, "Streams in the desert". Today's reading was about Abraham who had faith that God would fulfill his promises against all hope.

Great faith must first endure great trials.
God's greatest gifts come through great pain.

Though I am more confused and uncertain of what the future holds, I have found complete comfort in the hands of my father. A few of my dear friends sent me songs that explain EXACTLY what I am feeling and I wanted to share them here. Also wanted to share this verse from Isaiah 41:10:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed , for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"